One Act Play from Korea #153

Strapping American and his Korean wife are walking inside the courtyard of the apartment complex they are staying at. They have heard that the subway station is “right outside” but are having issues locating it. They come upon a group of three Korean women.

American: We should ask them where the subway is.

Wife (in Korean): Excuse me, we’re looking for the subway. Which way is it?

The three Korean women think for a beat, then all at the same time

Korean Women (in Korean): Uhhhhh, right over there!

While each one is pointing in a different direction.

American: Ask them which on is closest.

Fun Facts About Eating in Korea

If you go to a “fancy” “American” resturant, and you see “Steak” on the menu, it’s not what you thinking it is. Normally you think a nice slab of beef, right? And it sounds really good because you have lots of choices as to what you want on top of it: bacon, different kinds of cheeses, mushrooms, kimchee, etc. What you’ll actually get is meatloaf. And pretty bland meatloaf at that too. The same goes for cheesecake, they don’t put any sugar in it.

If you actually want a real steak you must go to a “real” American resturant. Namely TGI Fridays or Bennigans. You’ll have your choice too because they are right next door to each other.

TGI Friday's next door to Bennigans

But really, let’s be honest here, aren’t they the *same thing*? No, and I’ll tell you why.

TGI Fridays:

* Valet Parking (I’m not kidding)
* No booze in the cocktails. They say they are putting the stuff in, but it’s not in there. They also refused to add more (assuming there was any in there to start) because it would “ruin the recipe”.


* BOOZE IN THE DRINKS! Whoot! Quite a bit, actually. Good for them.
* In America you can get a Monte Cristo, which is a ham, turkey and cheese club sandwich that is deep fried and sprinked with powdered sugar. Sounds good, right? In the Korean Bennigans you can get *any sandwich on the menu* “cooked” like that. It’s an option like SuperSizing or Curly Fries.

TSW Reunion

One shot deal to jump on the ECW One Night Stand wave. I was scheduled for half the matches, but someone wanted a ref bump so I dropped a match.

1. Shockwave vs. Flamingo – Shockwave has a metal armor gimmick thing with sparklers and everything. He wins with the 450.

2. Outkast Killahs vs. Swinger and Steve Kruz – Killahs win with the East Coast (?) Killer.

3. Punk vs. Texas Outlaw vs. Buttery Bert – Main Event. Punk wins with DVD variation. Not sure if it was a rib or what, but the finish and actual match structure (from one-fall or elimination) changed sometime from when I went through the curtain and when the first fall occured. Fun fun.

Annual Trip to AC 2k6 version

Day 1 – Father’s Day

We get started early, early Sunday morning, 3am infact. We hit the dunkin’ donuts and are on Rt. 4 by 4am. The drive down is fairly uneventful. I think I missed one exit, but the GPS rerouted us and we only lost 5 minutes or so. The portable DVD is the greatest thing ever invented for kids on long trips. I prepped many DVDs for the trip. One of 10 hours of Blue’s Clues, 10 hours of Dora the Explorer, 10 hours of Miffy, one with all the Pixar movies on it. What does CJ watch? The Galaxy Express the whole way. For seven hours. Wife and child go to the beach and I make it just in time to register for the 11am Showboat tourney.

Showboat Tourney

I don’t make it past the first break. I was way up and down. I’d chip, chip, chip and build a big stack, then get into a coinflip with a shortstack and lose. This happened seven times in two hours. I got knocked on on the last hand before the break when UTG limped, two others limped. I tried to be like TJ and take the last pot before the break and pushed from the button with KK, UTG called (who had me barely outchipped) with AK. Of course an ace flops and I go to the beach.

We hang out on the beach for a bit. I get everyone lunch, pizza from the boardwalk, and then go inside to check in. There was a pretty long line, but my iPod kept me company. Directly behind me was a older woman with a beehive hairdo at least 16″ high. I swear. I get the keys, drop them off with Sunghee and I head over to the Taj.


I get on the list for the 5/10 and am instructed to get my chips. I get $250 in reds and wander around for a bit. A 1/2 NL table is short and the dealer begs me to play. “No, no. I’m a donk at NL.” I say. But I figure I’ll just play tight and sit and wait for my seat at 5/10 to open. First hand I have AQs and raise it up to $12 and get two callers. Flop comes A38. I over-bet the pot to try to take it down, one fold, BB calls. Turn is another 8. BB checks, I check. River is another A. BB goes all-in for $120 or so. I call and he shows 33. Thanks! BB leaves.

One orbit later I look down at JJ and raise to 15. I just want the blinds please. I get two callers again. Flop comes J84r. I run good. I bet 2/3 the pot and get two callers. Turn is a K. I bet pot and get one caller. River brings a 2 and I bet enough to put the last person all in $25 or so. He thinks for a long time and I finally say “There’s a lot in the pot, you should call.” He asks if I’ll show if he folds and I say “Sorry, no.” he finally calls and I show my set and he mucks, and leaves, as do the other two remaining people at the table. Well I’m up to like $600 now anyways and they call my name for the 5/10. Yay.

I played this game for about 8 hours and it was amazingly good. I have now developed the sense of what “should” be going on during the game and learned how to exploit it. I have also developed the dicipline to play correctly at the right people. I would check it down with calling stations when I had medium hands and would find the other person checking the nuts behind me. And I also pulled off a great bluff when I realized that the tight player at the other end was pulling the “check-raise turn, lead river” play and the river brought a ton of draws in so he couldn’t call my raise. The dealer looked at my hand because he wanted to know what the hell I was doing and let out a “Holy shit!” when he saw it. He, thankfully, added “Everything came in for you on the river didn’t it? Why didn’t you show?”, implying that I hit a royal when I actually just had duces. I killed the game really gooood, and headed back to the room for dinner.

I finally get a hold of my mother and sister and they’ve been stuck on the Expressway for three hours because of some accident. Just as soon as they clear it a white suburban runs a little black honda off the road and they stop for that one too. We agree to meet up in the morning for breakfast.

Sunghee and CJ had been snacking on brownsugar toast, but were still hungry. We were given comps for the buffet but not for the day we were there, and they wanted CJ to pay full price. Um, no thanks. We tried the House of Blues resturant and waited in line to get the beeper. We only waited for about 5 minutes in the HoB store before the beeper went off and we were seated. I had the batter dipped chicken breast with Margaritas and Sunghee had the chicken burger with some martini thing. Dessert brought me white choclate banana bread pudding and Sunghee a brownie with ice cream. Yummy. Sunghee and CJ then goto bed and I head upstairs for some donktastic drunken 1/2NL.

I goto the cage to get chips and give the girl a $100 that I got from the Taj earlier. She looks at it and says “I can’t take this, it’s not real.” I start to freak out. I say that I got it from here earlier and she’s like “Not from me you didn’t.” I’m speechless. Then she laughs and says she’s just fuckin with me. I don’t find it funny since I’m drunk. I only remember one hand where I had Aces, raised pf to 20 or so. Get two callers and a flop of KKJ. I bet 1/2 pot and they stick around. Turn is another J and I give up when BB goes all-in for like $80. I head to bed after a couple of hours when I’m having trouble reading the 4s, I keep thinking they’re aces.

Day 2 – My birthday

We head over to the Trop for breakfast at the little deli in the Quarter and we get IMAX tickets. The movie was pretty cool, with the snails eating the starfish and what-not. My mom and sister are apparently outside the Trop on the beach. We head out to meet them and as soon as we get outside, and are still trying to get used to the sun thing, I hear “Hey guys! Hey CJ!” Wait, those people know us. Ahh, it’s my neice and her boyfriend. They’re apparently waiting here for my sister and mother who went in 2 hours ago to get room keys and haven’t come back out yet. Everyone else is on the beach hanging out. Well I have no sunscreen on so I’ll burst into flames if I’m outside too much so we wait in the shade for a bit, and then go inside for the bathroom. I play a slot machine while I’m waiting and manage to win a large amount of money on my last three credits and cash it out. We finally meet up with my Mom and Sister and make dinner plans. I had wanted to go to the Borg, but the logisics of getting everyone there was too much to handle so we’re eating at the buffet at the Hilton in three hours. We have a room at the Hilton so we head over there to unpack. I have about three hours before dinner to kill so I stop by the Hilton’s new room and see a bunch of 2/4L and 1/2NL games going. The room looks nice, but I have visions of pink chips floating through my head so I head back to the Trop. Apparently the pink chip game broke 20 minutes before I got there so I put my name down to start another one, I also put my name down for 4/8 the next biggest game going. I watch my former intern and my niece’s friend’s boyfriend play he second ever B&M game. He has no patience for limit he says. I see that he has only bought in for $80 and there’s a guy with about $1500 directly to his left going over the top of him everytime he raises. Finally he calls and the big stack actually has KK to my intern’s 66. My intern is good though because he flops a six and doubles up. I wander off and find a 3/6 Omaha8 game in the corner with a few empty chairs. I sit down and then proceed the break that game too taking out three people in a little over an hour. Including winning the high half of a multi-way pot with a pair of 2s. Oops.

I go check on my intern but he appears to have busted out and left. My name is still the only one on the pink game list and I’m about seven down on the 4/8 list so I head back to my room to get ready for dinner.

We are of course late for dinner and find my sister waiting for us outside talking to some older woman about her cats. Apparently my sister just asked her what time it was and the woman talked to her for about 20 minutes straight about her life story. Yee-haw. The dinner was good and was highlighted by CJ’s dad calling to talk to him and, not realizing that he was on speakerphone with my family listening, telling CJ that his mother doesn’t love him. Sunghee of course flipped out and hung up the phone. We got a letter from his attorney when we got home about that too. Fun fun. Anyways. After dinner our servers came out to sing me happy birthday and I started singing along too, to CJ, who had been telling everyone that it was *his* birthday all day. The look of terror on his face, that he might not be five anymore, was priceless. After dinner Sunghee, CJ and I walked down to the miniture golf and played through. Sunghee and I bet ice cream and though she was two behind on the front nine, she fell apart on the back nine and I won by 12 strokes.

On the way back to the hotel CJ’s dad called again while he was in the stoller and everytime CJ’s dad tried talking I’d run CJ into a bunch of seagulls and he’d scream with delight into the phone and he finally hung up himself because the voice on the phone was distracting him from the birds. We didn’t get a letter about that though.

I get dropped off at the Trop and wife and baby go to bed. I find that the pink game had started up again, and broken, again, 20 minutes earlier. Gah! I do get into a 4/8 game and only remember one incident of note. The donater at the table, 5 seat, who has gone to find his wife hourly for more money, says something in a hushed tone to the six seat. I’m in seven and didn’t hear any of it, but the dealer did and says “Hey buddy, this isn’t a home game, keep it clean please.” Apparently refering to the 5s dropping the f-bomb. The 5s responds with “Fuck that Shit!” Dealer comes back with “Floor!” The floor is all like “10 minute penalty” and the 5s breaks out the “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” and throws his cards. And the floor is all like “Security!” The dealer apologizes and I can’t really blame him but I wish the guy was still there.

Day 3

We grab breakfast again at the Quarter and I want to grab lunch at White House Subs, but arrive at the incorrect time and I don’t really have 2 hours to stand in line to order so we take off for home. We run into some rain a few times that is the equivlent of driving through a lake, but it only lasts for about 30 seconds. The last time though was when we were on 87 and people were stopping in the middle of the highway. We somehow don’t die and make it though to the next 100 yards where it has stopped raining. And I can still see stopped cars in my rearview mirror. Crazy people. We end up arriving home at 6:45 after stopping at my mom’s house to pick up my birthday present that she forgot to pack.

10 The Hawd Way

I hit the new Higher Ground in Burlington this past Saturday for “10 The Hawd Way”, a ten band showcase headlined by Five Seconds Expired and Scissorfight. The doors opened at 4:30 and I arrived at around 7. The five or six bands that played before the two already mentioned were alright, but didn’t really grab me. Five Seconds Expired sounded great, but their songs seemed pretty tame compared to the other stuff that was on before them, sadly. Scissorfight totally rocked, as always. Ironlung let us know that “I’ve had a lot of time today to get all fucked up, and guess what I did with it?” then he took a shot of Jagermeister and puked on stage. Rock! They played a few songs from Jaggernaut including “Victory Over Horseshit”, “The Dredge” (yeah!), “Backwoods”, and “Fang” (rock!). Lots of people yelling for “Dynamite”. A roadie who looked like Ironlung’s brother played drums during “Drink, Fight, Fuck”. They played a two song encore and the bass player fell off his speaker stack.